Abstract: Sending young children to boarding school may be considered a particularly British form of child abuse and social control. The trauma of the rupture with home may be followed by other ordeals such as emotional deprivation and, in extreme cases, physical and sexual abuse. The taboo on expressing emotion, which is common in such institutions, may lead to an encapsulation of the self. Consequently, the needs of the distressed child/self remain active, but unconscious, within the adult. This maybe disguised by an armoured, and very often socially successful, persona. The psychological interplay, between these two facets of the personality, may be detrimental to intimate relationships. In clinical practice the emotional conflict between a desire for intimacy and anticipated exile comes to the fore. Three examples demonstrate how within the transference this may lead to a dependent and erotic atmosphere, which abruptly changes to sever all connection. Changes in the frame, breaks in analysis, and confessions of emotional need are all points at which vigilance is required if such disturbance in analysis is not to end in its abrupt termination.